Well all of ye who have been avid readers of the Meisterblog know that Fat Uncle Cheapo absolutely loves that History Channel show where they pit one group of legendary warriors against another.
For example, it had
Apache vs Gladiator
Viking vs Samurai
Spartan vs Ninja
Pirate vs Knight
Yakuza vs Mafia
Green Beret vs Spetsnaz
Shaolin Monk vs Māori Warrior
William Wallace vs ShakaZulu
IRA vs Taliban
SWAT vs. GSG 9
Attila the Hun vs. Alexander the Great
Jesse James vs. Al Capone
Aztec Jaguar vs. Zande Warrior
Nazi Waffen-SS vs. Viet Cong
Roman Centurion vs. Rajput Warrior
Somali Pirate vs. Medellín Cartel
Persian Immortal vs. Celt
KGB vs. CIA
Vlad the Impaler vs. Sun Tzu
Ming Warrior vs. Musketeer
Comanche vs. Mongol
Navy SEAL vs. Israeli Commando
This got Cheapo thinking. He decided that what the channel lacked was vision. What they should do is take the fiercest warriors of fiction as well and mix them up with the warriors of real life. Only then can you decide who is the deadliest warrior.
From the lot above, lets take the winners and judge where they can be included in the Cheapo version
Apache - nope, sorry mate, you lot got massacred by a bunch of cow farmers, so disqualified
Samurai - hmmm shortlisted
Spartan - the champions of the ancient world, defeated the Immortales, so hell yes
Pirate - Captain Jack Sparrow savvy?
Mafia - totally disqualified on virtue of being regularly put in jail
Spetznaz - in a word yes
Shaolin Monk - Bruce Lee is representing them wue meditating
IRA - are out for losing to Harrison Ford
William Wallace - lost to Edward, so no
SWAT
Attila the Hun - hey the man defeated everything in his path and apparently would have defeated Alexander as well (note to Porus - elephants on a river bank - not a good idea ....just watch Lord of the Rings before u go to fight would u)
Jesse James - got assasinated, so out
Zande Warrior - lost to the Europeans so no
Nazi Waffen - lost to the Americans and the Comrades so out
Rajput Warrior - as much as it pains Cheapo, lost to the Mughals when fighting, got their daughters married to the Mughals when not fighting, so no
Immortals - lost to Leonida's Sparatans - out
Somali Pirate - r u kidding me?
Vlad the Impaler - well he was Dracula and he never gave up and defeated the Ottomans over and over again
CIA - can't defeat a bunch of shepherds, good for creating mess, definitely disqualified
Musketeer - medieval cheese eating surrender monkeys - so out
Comanache - lost to the cowboys, out
Navy Seal - in
So the winners are
Navy Seal
Vlad the Impaler/ Dracula
Shaolin Monk/Bruce Lee
Attila the Hun
Spetznaz
Samurai
Spartan
Pirate/Jack Sparrow
so that's the top 8 from real life
now we come to fiction
Naavi - defeated the Americans so - in
Aragon's Ghost Army - massacred Mordor's army plus the olyphants - in
Indomitable Gauls - by Toutatis they are in
The Governator - a highbreed of Terminator, Commando, Conan the Barbarian, Predator killer - in in in
Predators - killed the aliens so - in
Lord Rama's Monkey Army - defeated Lanka so - in
Wolverine - in
Moses carrying the Ark of Covenant (they are in the Bible, which is a book, ergo part of fiction) - defeated the Egyptians, defeated Jericho, Sodom and Gomorrah
now lets come to the draw, and bear in mind it can't be like humongous superiority for someone over the other so, keeping that in mind
what about
Navy Seal vs Lord Rama's Monkey Army
Vlad the Impaler/ Dracula vs Wolverine
Shaolin Monk/Bruce Lee vs Governator
Attila the Hun va Indomitable Gauls
Spetznaz vs Moses and the Ark
Samurai vs Predators
Spartan vs Naavi
Pirate/Jack Sparrow vs Aragon's Ghost Army
What drama!! What excitement!!! What clackalackadack!!!!
Who will win? Who will die?? Who are already dead and doesn't give a damn???
Who will become the ultimate fighter in real or reel life?????
And what strange twists, turns, surprises and clackalackadackdacks will the contestants have to face?????
Stay Tuned....the shit is about to hit the clackalackadack
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