Well last night La Donatella entered into a discussion with the Hippo about some film (made from money sponsored by some tissue paper manufacturing company) where after much hardships and misery, the protagonist goes and jumps into a well. (yep, why anyone would watch such a depressing piece is beyond Cheapo as well)
Now being a member of the ethnic minority where Cuthbert Calculus is the honorary president, Cheapo heard that the protagonist had gone and jumped into a whale......a fact that would have automatically ensured that the movie would have been a superhit as well as very much enjoyable.
When Cheapo enquired about it, the bourgeois called him a palestinian for some reason and ordered him to bugger off. He later got a letter of complaint about his behaviour as well.
Despite all that Cheapo started thinking (never a good idea) about other depressing disasterpieces which would have been much much better with alternate endings.
Lets take some example where alternate endings etc would have made the depressing stuff much much more joyous.
That damn Titanic is sinking, that idiot leo is freezing to death, that nutter orchestra is still playing the crap music with water upto their knees.......when out of nowehere
Superman comes!!!! He raises the Titanic, saves all the people (except Leo, because he is a cunt) and flies away.....with tat nutter orchestra still playing on (only this time they are playing "when the Saints go marching in, when the saints go marching in....."
Lets look at another example
Moses, just after smoking the joint, hears god's orders and makes those 2 tablets with those ten commandments, when all of a sudden Hulk jumps in out of nowehere and then jumps out again......followed by the USA USA USA helicopters. Moses gets scared and drops one of the tablets (the one containing cobveting thy neighbour's ass)......and human history (or in Moses's perspective, human future) changes.
Later in the same film, when the Hebrews are totally lost i nthe middle of the desert, the USA USA USA marines appear and with the help of sat nav, guide them to the promised land.......and also drop a couple of bombs on them philistines in the process. (They also equipped David with a sawed off- shotfun to fight Goliath but lets not get into that)
Lets look at another example
Juliet is dead, or at least thats what that super silly ass Romeo thinks has happened...he is making his tearful speech and preparing to kill himself....when in walks Dr. House and bangs Romeo's head with the walking stick and tell him to bugger off you idiot....and then goes and gives Juliet an injection to wake her up.
Lets look at another example
Hillary Swank is all confused about whether she is a boy or girl or whatever but one day while walking through a street, a football rolls her way and without thinking she pciks it up and does some tricks with it. An agent sees her and offers a trial. During the medical text, they realise that she is a girl and so instead of the boy's team they put her in the girl's team and she becomes very rich and very famous.....and being lesbian is in heaven during post match showers etc...
Lets look at another example
Meg Ryan is bicycling with her hands off the handle and her eyes closed and that truck is coming towards her and its about to impact......when Hancock comes and stops the truck...they fall in love and live happily ever after.......Nicolas cage commits suicide
Lets look at another example
Its Requiem for a Dream and within 5 minutes of the beginning, a nuclear bomb drops on those addicts and turn all of them into zombies.
Yay!
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