Yes people
Its Esteemed Nutter of the Maternal Persuasion 0 Fat Uncle Cheapo 1
You see, the Esteemed One has always claimed that I am crazy, and that I should see a psychodoc, who will give me electric shocks and all.
Having been enormously depressed lately due to the, amongst other things, the continued absence of a top hat or a viking helmet in my life, I finally decided to go bug a shrink.
So, it was time for mano y shrinko.
He asked me why I am bugging him. I told him because everybody is mean to me and that girls keep saying ewwwwwwwww. So he told me, "well you are spectacularly ugly, so what do you expect".
So I told him I am a decent, kind, generous, honourable, honest person.
And so he told me "so what, you are still stupendously ugly, and that's all that matters". He then asked me "whether I have ever considered using Fair and Handsome".
I replied saying am I a man or am I the Great Indian Chunkubaaz or Bhanu Pratap Pritam.
He then diverted the discussion towards my work. I said I am quite successful and respected and appreciated at my workplace. Then he adviced me to work 24/7 365 and my problems will be solved.
So I told him, am I human or am I a QuisLex employee?
Then he asked me about my relationship with family. I said they love me but dislike me since I am a loser. he said that he can empathize with my parents. He stated that had I been his progeny, he would have disinherited me long ago, since a loser like me cannot be good for the family name.
I agreed.
Then he asked me about my friends.
I said that since I am totally useless, I only have a handful of friends and that they pity me. He said "how you have even 1 is astonishing!"
Then he picked up a card and asked me to describe it.
I said that's a kangaroo pummeling Gary fucking Neville.
He picked another. I said that's a menage-a-5 involving Moby Dick, Moby Hump, Crybaby, Wellbeloved and a Tripod.
He picked another. I said that is an ice cream.
He said hmmm.
He then asked me about my likes and dislikes. I said I am a supporter of Chelsea during the Champions League.
He prescribed me 2 anti-depressants.
So, in conclusion, now I have a medicine which, amongst other things, is used to cure
premenstrual dysphoric disorder
And whose side effects include difficulty becoming aroused, erectile dysfunction, lack of interest in sex, and anorgasmia (inability to achieve orgasm), genital anesthesia, loss of or decreased response to sexual stimuli, and ejaculatory anhedonia. It seems that although usually reversible, these sexual side effects can last for months, years, or permanence after the drug has been completely withdrawn
Yep, that's exactly what I needed.
Its Esteemed Nutter of the Maternal Persuasion 0 Fat Uncle Cheapo 1
You see, the Esteemed One has always claimed that I am crazy, and that I should see a psychodoc, who will give me electric shocks and all.
Having been enormously depressed lately due to the, amongst other things, the continued absence of a top hat or a viking helmet in my life, I finally decided to go bug a shrink.
So, it was time for mano y shrinko.
He asked me why I am bugging him. I told him because everybody is mean to me and that girls keep saying ewwwwwwwww. So he told me, "well you are spectacularly ugly, so what do you expect".
So I told him I am a decent, kind, generous, honourable, honest person.
And so he told me "so what, you are still stupendously ugly, and that's all that matters". He then asked me "whether I have ever considered using Fair and Handsome".
I replied saying am I a man or am I the Great Indian Chunkubaaz or Bhanu Pratap Pritam.
He then diverted the discussion towards my work. I said I am quite successful and respected and appreciated at my workplace. Then he adviced me to work 24/7 365 and my problems will be solved.
So I told him, am I human or am I a QuisLex employee?
Then he asked me about my relationship with family. I said they love me but dislike me since I am a loser. he said that he can empathize with my parents. He stated that had I been his progeny, he would have disinherited me long ago, since a loser like me cannot be good for the family name.
I agreed.
Then he asked me about my friends.
I said that since I am totally useless, I only have a handful of friends and that they pity me. He said "how you have even 1 is astonishing!"
Then he picked up a card and asked me to describe it.
I said that's a kangaroo pummeling Gary fucking Neville.
He picked another. I said that's a menage-a-5 involving Moby Dick, Moby Hump, Crybaby, Wellbeloved and a Tripod.
He picked another. I said that is an ice cream.
He said hmmm.
He then asked me about my likes and dislikes. I said I am a supporter of Chelsea during the Champions League.
He prescribed me 2 anti-depressants.
So, in conclusion, now I have a medicine which, amongst other things, is used to cure
premenstrual dysphoric disorder
And whose side effects include difficulty becoming aroused, erectile dysfunction, lack of interest in sex, and anorgasmia (inability to achieve orgasm), genital anesthesia, loss of or decreased response to sexual stimuli, and ejaculatory anhedonia. It seems that although usually reversible, these sexual side effects can last for months, years, or permanence after the drug has been completely withdrawn
Yep, that's exactly what I needed.
ayyyio!
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