The Incredible Fart

Ah, that ancient and noble art of farting. And yes people, it is an art.


In antiquity, people were more obsessed with the really important stuff - ye know, like assasinations, invasions, human sacrifice, genocide etc. They did not bother about such everyday normal stuff as farting. Everybody farts, its a normal bodily function.

Even that bunch of weannabe rockstars, R.E.M had a suprhit single -

"Well, everybody farts sometimes,



Everybody cries. And everybody farrts sometimes


And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on


Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on


Everybody farts. You are not alone" etc etc


What they were trying to say was that there is no need to be ashamed of it, if ye feel like it, just go ahead.


The problem is with them upper class, la di dah snobbish types...they have become so conscious of their images and how people look at them etc that they have forgotten how to enjoy life. And the sad part is that true to the utter twerplike nature of human beings, everyone now seeks to emulate those useless plonkers.


Well, Fat Uncle Cheapo is not one of them. He proudly farts wherver he wants, whenever he wants. And he doesn't give an amoeba's doodah what the Homo Dimwitens think about it.


So now we come to the actual farts.


As you are all well aware, different people fart differently. Some farts are smelly, some are noisy, some are a combination of two. Now Fat Uncle Cheapo, being one of them ambitious chappies, has worked with determination and dedication for over two decades to develop the masterpiece - the Incredible Fart.


It is truly a work of art. It is more melodious than the Blue Danube Waltz and the Moonlight Sonata combined. It is more fragrant than the smell of a thousand roses. Rich in texture and character, it evokes the memory of a place as pure and joyous as Eden. Poets wax lyrical in its presence. Words like sublime and ethereal have been used to describe its beauty.


It is well and truly The Incredible Fart



and it is coming soon to a place near you