Revelation

29 years, 2 months and about 20 odd days.


That's what it took for the Fat Uncle Cheapo to find his true calling.


All this time he was waddling about pissing away his time dabbling in grammar, literature, mathematics, biology, logic (for some extremely illogical reason), geography, statistics, economics, history, political science, syntax, phonology, semantics, sociolinguistics, Russian, applied linguistics, Spanish, American law, banking, insurance etc etc.......but none of them attracted him enough.


But now he has found it, he finally has an ambition.


He now knows what to do.


You see he always thought that there are 2 types of people who actually get paid to mess around with women's you know whats - gigolos and plastic surgeons.


Now Cheapo can never become a surgeon because the training process involves dissecting frogs, rabbits etc. Deliberately killing and mutilating innocent animals when there are millions of Manchester United supporters roaming around is abhorrent and repulsive, not to mention repugnant.

So that's out.


Now since it has been established that women would rather drink poison, set themselves on fire and then jump out of a very tall building all the while hacking themselves with a HIV and tetanus coated chainsaw rather than take off their clothes in front of Fat Uncle Cheapo, being a gigoglo is also out.


Ergo Cheapo was ambling around procrastinating like no tomorrow.




But it has recently come to his attention that there is a 3rd type of profession which involves said activity - women's blouse making.


Apparently, women have no problems getting their you know whats measured and groped by these individuals.


Upon hearing of this, Cheapo's first reaction was "Eh??" followed by "Are you serious?" and "WTF!!".



But upon pondering about this he has come to the conclusion that this is in fact perfectly logical and reasonable behavior from a species that regularly pluck their own eyebrows out with a tweezer and then draw those eyebrows with a pen.



So, now that he has an ambition and a zest for life, the only thing left for Cheapo to do is to learn how to put a thread through a needle.







Ohhhhhhhhhh dear