A grave injustice has been done in which Fat Uncle cheapo has somehow managed to infuriate and insult 2 ancient civilizations, millions of human beings as well as cats.


 Now Cheapo is not really bothered about the cats, those lying, scheming, stealing, mouse hunting, milk drinking, brainwashing, meow shouting, aspiring world dominators are the enemy anyway. You see, the cats have made extensive treaties with the aliens (for the benefits of people from USAUSAUSA, let me clarify that by aliens, I DO NOT mean Mexicans, but rather Venusians and those buggers from Uranus), the giraffes, the seagulls (led by the brothers Eric and Steven) and of course the octopuses.


It is of course a plan to raise Cthulhu.



Fat Uncle Cheapo, whose innate awesomeness allows him to see the future has, well, seen the future and has already made preparations for the impending battle. Treating with the dogs and the orangs have been made. The dolphins and the ravens will come on board anytime.


The only problem is that the damn cats have so successfully managed to penetrate the human brain and brainwash them that most people don't even realise the peril they are in.

We will see what happens.



Anyway, to come back to the point, Fat Uncle Cheapo's favorite niece - the mommy missing, Uber following, McDonald working, media studying, orgy hating, Missisauga living, Ayush supporting, Abhas baiting, perennially crying about EFLU (even Adam did not cry this much after getting bumrushed out of Eden) - Kiddo has adopted a cat.


Having no imagination, she started calling it Jacks (it would have made much more since if it was in Montreal and the cat was called Jacques). Cheapo rightfully called it a lame name and decided to rename it.


He called the cat Nebuchadnezzar. Unfortunately, there were protests from various quarters.


So Gilgamesh was chosen.



The problem is that the cat is Persian.....as it turns out Gilgamesh most definitely wasn't....if anything he was Babylonian.



For those not historically inclined, this is tantamount to calling George Washington a royalist, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin a capitalist, Montogomery Burns an environmentalist, Pat Rice alive, Twilight literature, Mamata Banerjee a communist, Wellbeloved heterosexual or post-modernists as anything apart from a complete waste of time.


You see, the Babylonians and Persians, have, with grim determination and concentration, continuously been fighting each other for close to 4 or 5000 years now.


So, see renaming the damn cat, has once again become a bit of a necessity.


And here are the options.


Silulumesh Inimabakesh
Untash-Napirisha
Shutruk-Nahhunte 

Ashurbanipal
Nabopolassar
Artaxerxes