WIKILEAKS EXPOSE

In Saudi Arabia, there was a very rich man who had lots of wives. The 10th one of these gave birth to a baby boy.

They named the wee lad Osama.

When he was little, he was a normal boy, interested in girls, cartoons, football.


But as he started growing up, he started obsessing about religion and philosophy. He gave up his studies and employed all his time in the study of Islamic philosophies. He soon became very attracted towards the thoroughly brainless and ultimately self-destructing idealism of Sayyid Qutb called Qutbism (a precusror of things to come one might say).


Having been thoroughly brainwashed, he decided on Jihad and went to the land of the Fucking Idiots - Pakistan.


It was while in Pakistan that he first started watching English football. And being a lover of guns and guerrillas, he decided to support Arsenal. Why you ask?

Well because he thought that Arsenal had guerrillas in its ranks. It was much later that he realised that there were no guerrillas, just 4 gorillas by the name of Adams, Keown, Dixon and Winterburn.


Osama never did anything by half. Having decided to support Arsenal, he decided to support them wholeheartedly. He started hating all Americans, Heretics, Jews and Tottenham fans. He kept on donating huge chunks of money for jihad and for Arsenal to build their new stadium/mausoleum.


But he lost it, he totally lost it at the beginning of the millennium when Arsenal won diddly squat for the 3rd year running despite having a team of Keown, Adams, Seaman, Viera, Bergkamp, Wiltord, Henry, Ljunberg, Pires and Ashley Cole. What broke the camel's back, so to speak, was Wenger's decision to shore up the team with such luminaries as Igor Stepanovs, Gilles Grimandi, Oleg Luzhni et all.....more or less at the same time that Chelsea bought Frank Lampard.


He became convinced that Arsene Wenger is a fucking idiot and that it was an American-Zionist conspiracy to convert his club to a laughing stock.


All the while shouting "Allahu Akbar" and "Death to America! Death to Israel!! Death to Tottenham!!!", he forced his followers to perpetrate attacks on Americans, Jews and Tottenham fans all over the world.


He survived the American invasion, the worldwide hunt, even Tottenham's ascension to the Champions League.

But rumours abound that he committed suicide the day he got news that Wenger had signed Silvestre to solve all of Arsenal's defensive problems.