The War to End all Wars

We have had WW1, WW2 etc.


Lots of people have speculated about when the next great war will come and who will be the protagonists.


Different theories have been bandied about - the names of the Yankees, the Limeys/Poms, the Towelheads, the Krauts/Huns, the Yids, the Chinks or Gooks, the Pakis, the Ivans


But a truly epic battle needs epic combatants.


And thus we will have the War to End all Wars


The combatants - The Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys and the Bongs


Yes those two groups of legendary fighters would be able to have the most memorable fight the world has ever seen.


After a flurry of messages, it was decided that the battle will take place in neutral territory. USAUSAUSA suggested Iraq since, as they put it, nothing else can further screw up that place than what they have done already.

So the plains of Babylon, which have seen such famous warlords and conquerers as Darius and Alexander, Hammurabi and Nebuchadnezzar, Saddam and George W Bush, would once again ring with the battle cries of bloodthirsty soldiers..........


........well cries of Mon Dieu, Merde, Dur Baal and Jah Sala to be more precise.


Anyway the Americans apparently suggested the site to apparently entertain the their troops.

So after lots of speeches and letters and theorising and philosophising , the day came nearer and the 2 armies started towards the destination.

The French army had 10000 soldiers. Accompanying them were 5000 cooks, 10000 butlers and valets, 5000 tailors and hat-makers, 10000 wives and 20000 mistresses.

The Bong army had 10000 soldiers. They were accompanied by their wives and mothers.


So forward and onward they marched (only interrupted when the women wanted to go shopping and when different groups went on strike) and after a few months, they reached the appointed place.


The day came. The two armies stood facing each other, both clad in their finest.

The generals of the 2 army came to the centre and.............................


started making speeches.



In the meantime, 1 Iraqi shepherd climbed up a hillock to see what the hell is going on.

Soon soldiers from the 2 army noticed the boy.


Consternation broke out.


There were widespread shouts of - "Nous sommes ainsi effrayé nous pooped juste dans notre pantalon", "nous sommes condamnés", "avoir la pitié", "bachao", "baba re gelum" "o mago".

The Bongs started running away. Seeing that, the French immediately threw down their weapons and put their arms above their heads.


And thus happened the war to end all wars.