Yep, I am thanking religion, you know the thing that is the first and last excuse of one group of people who want to kill another group of people.
All of you who know me, really know me know that I can fall under either of three categories - Pastafarian or Agnostic or Jedi.
Basically, I have no time for a mass murdering sadist/masochist with existential dilemma or a mass murdering pedophile with delusions of grandeur or a mass murdering mass seducing stealer of women's clothes or a mass murdering mass destroying wife killing pothead or even someone who for all practical purposes just ran away.
I would rather eat pasta and worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Unfortunately, or rather for comedic relief fortunately, my fellow Indians have a very narrow list of possibilities when it comes to religions.
As a result of which I have become the most secular person in history.
This is how.
All the maids, guards, watchmen think I am Muslim.
All those who have passed high school think I am a Christian.
All those who can associate my surname with the Bong naming conventions think I am a Hindu.
All those who have asked me what I am have usually gotten the answer "a fat buddha (geriatric)". Naturally, they have taken it up as meaning that I am a Buddhist.
So that's 4 of the top 5 religions in the pocket then. The 5th is probably missing only because the average Indian has no clue what the Jewish religion is.
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