Imagine a scenario.
Earth is under attack.
By those fecking Martians (who else).
And all the great minds (and George W Bush) meet and decide that instead of all out war, there will be a footy match between a select bunch of earthlings and a bunch of Martians. Whoever wins gets to rule the other planet.
And bear in mind that because of advanced technology, even fictional characters and dead people are able to come alive to defend their planet.
After much deliberations, numerous shortlists etc etc, they finally managed to select the following
Defenders
Obelix (CB) - (the "big" man...get past him, go on, try)
Wolverine (CB) (the man can't be beaten...simples)
Bugs Bunny (Left Back) (has loads of experience in fighting and defeating Martians)
Albus Dumbledore (Right Back) (knows all the defensive spells you can think of)
Midfielders
Hercules (DM) - (a perfect sweeper of loose balls, has loads of experience in sweeping)
Rob Anybody (RM) - (will be of great use as a winger, esp as he can pass the martian fullbacks without detection and steal into their penalty box)
Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson (CM) - (well someone has to rally the players and inspire them)
El Diego (LM) - a team of myths and legends surely needs a God?
Strikers
Genghiz Khan
Alexander
That left the position of goalkeeper.
And let me tell you, there was lots and lots of controversies.
Everyone wanted someone who cannot be passed. So all the great keepers like Yashin, Banks, Dasayev, Kahn, Buffon, Maier, Casillas etc were all considered and rejected.
And then, the Arsa fans popped up and demanded that a world team needs a world class keeper and ergo should take the man, the myth, the legend, the icon - Flappy.
After the resultant hilarity and derisory laughter died down and the Great Pedophile and his legion of fans rode off in their moral donkeys, the rest of the world finally managed to decide on
King Kong
So what about the managerial positions?
It has to be HIM as the manager.
And to help HIM, the world decided that
Sherlock Holmes would be perfect as someone needs to analyse the movement of the players and find clues amongst the Martian bench to figure out their plans.
Let the games begin.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Players I have been Privledged to Watch
Yeah, sometimes I get these urges. So here goes.
These are some of the best players I have seen. I haven't been biased. these are the players who have sketched their names on my mind by their performances.
And yes they are all from the last 2 decades.
Buffon
Cafu, Cannavaro, Carvalho, Ashley Cole
Makelele, Lothar Matthews
Messi, Zidane, Ronaldinho
Ronaldo
or
Kahn
Lahm, Desailly, Nesta, Roberto Carlos
Essien, Xavi
CRon, Iniesta, Robben
Drogba
or
Casillas
Thuram, Walter Samuel, Stam, Lizarazu
Van Bommel, Pirlo
Nedved, Pires
Bergkamp, Henry
and one for the future- say in 10 15 years, this lot will be greats
Joe Hart, Manuel Neier, Maicon, Pique, Fucking Biscuits, Mikel, Wilshere, McEachran, Nemanja Matic, Schweinsteiger, Ozil, Di Maria, Canales, Marco Marin, Thomas Muller, Pato, Di Maria, Khedira, Tony Kroos
managers??
Ottmar Hitzfield, HIM, Guus Hiddink, Jogi Low
These are some of the best players I have seen. I haven't been biased. these are the players who have sketched their names on my mind by their performances.
And yes they are all from the last 2 decades.
Buffon
Cafu, Cannavaro, Carvalho, Ashley Cole
Makelele, Lothar Matthews
Messi, Zidane, Ronaldinho
Ronaldo
or
Kahn
Lahm, Desailly, Nesta, Roberto Carlos
Essien, Xavi
CRon, Iniesta, Robben
Drogba
or
Casillas
Thuram, Walter Samuel, Stam, Lizarazu
Van Bommel, Pirlo
Nedved, Pires
Bergkamp, Henry
and one for the future- say in 10 15 years, this lot will be greats
Joe Hart, Manuel Neier, Maicon, Pique, Fucking Biscuits, Mikel, Wilshere, McEachran, Nemanja Matic, Schweinsteiger, Ozil, Di Maria, Canales, Marco Marin, Thomas Muller, Pato, Di Maria, Khedira, Tony Kroos
managers??
Ottmar Hitzfield, HIM, Guus Hiddink, Jogi Low
Thursday, October 14, 2010
We have come a long way Baby
Yes we have...a loong aloong way
Take the English language as an example
Consider this medieval news paper report headline
William Hung Drawn and Quartered
Now consider this contemporary newspaper headline
William Hung Drawn and Quartered
They look the same don't they? But the meaning is as different as different can be
The medieval one refers to William Wallace being killed by being hung, drawn and quartered. His body parts were sent to different parts of the kingdom to act as a deterrent.
The recent one refers to some bloke called William Hung who wins a lottery and gets a house
And fo some reason, I am hankering for the good ole days
Take the English language as an example
Consider this medieval news paper report headline
William Hung Drawn and Quartered
Now consider this contemporary newspaper headline
William Hung Drawn and Quartered
They look the same don't they? But the meaning is as different as different can be
The medieval one refers to William Wallace being killed by being hung, drawn and quartered. His body parts were sent to different parts of the kingdom to act as a deterrent.
The recent one refers to some bloke called William Hung who wins a lottery and gets a house
And fo some reason, I am hankering for the good ole days
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The Last King of Bongland
Well all of ye who have clackalackadackdacked the last post, now know of the awesome record of the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys when it comes to doing anythin resembling a fight.
But for some reason, they regularly enter into arguements and then challenge people (only to get spanked) and then they surrender.
But they are not at the top of the food chain though.
There is another group of individuals who have established themselves as the numero uno of...well everything....they suffer from unsurpassable amounts of superiority complex and.....well have reached the zenith and pinnacle of self delusion.
They have also reached the zenith of martial loserliness.
They have lost em all (as a group/race...defo not individually...the motherland got independence due to the bravery and sacrifice of quite a lot of the individuals)
And their last Hindu king (historically inaccurate, Raja Ganesh was the last but by all accounts he was quite a good fighter, so can't be considered for this blog) had led from the front and had trailblazed his way to immotality.
You see the fella's name was Laxman Sen. He epitomised awesomeness. In fact awesome was his middle name.
Why you ask?
Well, he got news of an invasion by the Mulims (Bakhtiar Khilji) and he abandoned his capital city and ran away. As it transpires he ran away from 20 men on horseback who had just come to check things out.
Yes people, this blog is about those half men half amazings, those mythical legendary warriors - the Bongs.
Barring Shashanka (of Gaud) and Raja Ganesh not a single one of them have ever won a war.
But what about the Muslim rulers ye ask? Weren't they Bongs as well ye ask?
Yep those who were born in the region definitely can be considered Bongs. So lets have a look.
The conqueres are automatically and naturally disqualified.
Their descendants (if born/broght up in the region) can be considered.
Khilji Dynasty
Bakhtiar Khilji started it after Laxman Sen ran away
His descendants Muhammad Shiran Khilji and Husamuddin Iwaj Khilji were both spanked by Delhi and Ali Mardan Khilji was assasinated by his own people.
Mameluk Dynasty
All Turkish, none born i nthe region....but still all either assasinated ordefeated by Delhiwalas.
Mahmud Shahi Dynasty
All Iranians.....last one defeated by Tughluq's general
Illyas Shahi Dynasty
Shamsuddin Ilyas Shah was probably born in the region and by all acounts quite a good soldier so - Exception proves the Rule
His descendants however included
Sikander Shah, whose most notable achievement was begetting 17 children from his 1st wife and 1 from his 2nd...the last one promptly defeated him
Shihab-ud-Din Bayazid Shah, who once sent a giraffe to China
yes, I know
Habshi Dynasty
Abyssianian....don't ask me just what exactly that lot was doing in Bongland
Hussian Shahi Dynasty
Founder Arab
Descendants lost to the Ahoms of Assam....yes we lost to that lot also...sigh
Sur and Shahi Dynasties
Apart from gettong occassionaly spanked by the Delhiwalas, they spent their days wanking
Then we had the governors/ vassals etc of the Mughals
Then Murshi Quli Khan - non Bong
The next 3 born in the Deccan or Orissa
And then there was Siraj ud Dullah - born and brought up in Bongland
So naturally the 1st Indian ruler to be routed and killed by the East India Company
So as you can see, the Bongs have no equal (except possibly the Austrians) when it comes to being unmitigated disasters when on the battlefield.
However, we have more than made up for being livinglegends on the battlefield by being seven shades of awesome in creating/producing
the hottest women
the most brilliant novels, stories, poems, songs, dramas and films
the weirdest paintings
a long and endless stream of good to great footballers
a long and endless stream of critics and know-it-alls
and most importantly - the most delicious food on this planet
So ye lot can have yer battles, we have our food.
p.s Its such a shame that we also have the comrades, but hey no one's perfect.
p.p.s We also have/are the laziest bunch of creatures this planet has ever seen (and this is a planet which has seen tortoises, facebook addicts and Jimbo)
But for some reason, they regularly enter into arguements and then challenge people (only to get spanked) and then they surrender.
But they are not at the top of the food chain though.
There is another group of individuals who have established themselves as the numero uno of...well everything....they suffer from unsurpassable amounts of superiority complex and.....well have reached the zenith and pinnacle of self delusion.
They have also reached the zenith of martial loserliness.
They have lost em all (as a group/race...defo not individually...the motherland got independence due to the bravery and sacrifice of quite a lot of the individuals)
And their last Hindu king (historically inaccurate, Raja Ganesh was the last but by all accounts he was quite a good fighter, so can't be considered for this blog) had led from the front and had trailblazed his way to immotality.
You see the fella's name was Laxman Sen. He epitomised awesomeness. In fact awesome was his middle name.
Why you ask?
Well, he got news of an invasion by the Mulims (Bakhtiar Khilji) and he abandoned his capital city and ran away. As it transpires he ran away from 20 men on horseback who had just come to check things out.
Yes people, this blog is about those half men half amazings, those mythical legendary warriors - the Bongs.
Barring Shashanka (of Gaud) and Raja Ganesh not a single one of them have ever won a war.
But what about the Muslim rulers ye ask? Weren't they Bongs as well ye ask?
Yep those who were born in the region definitely can be considered Bongs. So lets have a look.
The conqueres are automatically and naturally disqualified.
Their descendants (if born/broght up in the region) can be considered.
Khilji Dynasty
Bakhtiar Khilji started it after Laxman Sen ran away
His descendants Muhammad Shiran Khilji and Husamuddin Iwaj Khilji were both spanked by Delhi and Ali Mardan Khilji was assasinated by his own people.
Mameluk Dynasty
All Turkish, none born i nthe region....but still all either assasinated ordefeated by Delhiwalas.
Mahmud Shahi Dynasty
All Iranians.....last one defeated by Tughluq's general
Illyas Shahi Dynasty
Shamsuddin Ilyas Shah was probably born in the region and by all acounts quite a good soldier so - Exception proves the Rule
His descendants however included
Sikander Shah, whose most notable achievement was begetting 17 children from his 1st wife and 1 from his 2nd...the last one promptly defeated him
Shihab-ud-Din Bayazid Shah, who once sent a giraffe to China
yes, I know
Habshi Dynasty
Abyssianian....don't ask me just what exactly that lot was doing in Bongland
Hussian Shahi Dynasty
Founder Arab
Descendants lost to the Ahoms of Assam....yes we lost to that lot also...sigh
Sur and Shahi Dynasties
Apart from gettong occassionaly spanked by the Delhiwalas, they spent their days wanking
Then we had the governors/ vassals etc of the Mughals
Then Murshi Quli Khan - non Bong
The next 3 born in the Deccan or Orissa
And then there was Siraj ud Dullah - born and brought up in Bongland
So naturally the 1st Indian ruler to be routed and killed by the East India Company
So as you can see, the Bongs have no equal (except possibly the Austrians) when it comes to being unmitigated disasters when on the battlefield.
However, we have more than made up for being livinglegends on the battlefield by being seven shades of awesome in creating/producing
the hottest women
the most brilliant novels, stories, poems, songs, dramas and films
the weirdest paintings
a long and endless stream of good to great footballers
a long and endless stream of critics and know-it-alls
and most importantly - the most delicious food on this planet
So ye lot can have yer battles, we have our food.
p.s Its such a shame that we also have the comrades, but hey no one's perfect.
p.p.s We also have/are the laziest bunch of creatures this planet has ever seen (and this is a planet which has seen tortoises, facebook addicts and Jimbo)
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys
Talking of Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys, they are the only 1 group of individuals in the whole world who have never won a war. Of course they have won a few battles here and there nut when it comes to losing, they have no equals.
It all started with Vercingetorix first declaring war on ole Julius, then quite delightfully mucking up his tactics and millitary strategies (becoming a jelly in Julius's doughnut shaped fortifications), then feeding his own soldiers to the metaphorical cannons and then....well...surrendering
He wasn't the last...oh no, not by a long way
Fast forward a few hundred years and we have the monkeys fighting the Lions
and what happens?
Yes that's right they lose and lose and lose (Crecy (1346) and Agincourt (1415) famous examples) and surrender and surrender and surrender
and when they finally get a commander (Joan of Arc) who can beat the bloody Englishmen, what do they do?
They burn her
Once again fast forward
We arrive at the 18th century
We see the monkeys fighting along with that other great martial powers Austria (who has never ever won a war) and Spain (the only war they ever won was the civil war...but they lost that as well) against those tiny insignificant warrior nations of Britain and Prussia.
Guess what happened....go on guess guess
Thats right
The real fun was about to start though
The 19th and 20th centuries were the zenith of the ancient and noble simian tradition of surrendering.
It started with Napolean getting an arse kicking of epic proportions in Egypt and the talantic by Nelson. He decided to evolve and fight on land. After being chased all around the continent by Arthur Wellesley...guess what Napolean did??
Yep
He was put in an island where he got bored after a few years. So what did he do. He walked into Paris and the whole nation surrendered to him. He then assembled a huge massive army and started marching to Belgium.
Upon reaching Belgium, more specifically a place called Waterloo, he decided to go back to Paris. Upon reaching Paris, he carried on the simian tradition and ..well....surrendered.
[Aside - the man was an eejit. Why you ask?
1. The British army employed riflemen - the Greenjackets. The rifle had a much bigger range as well as accuracy and was deaedly as a sniper weapon. So what did Napolean do? He said oo la la and stuck to muskets.
2. The British used the line formation while fighting. What it meant was at any point of time there were say a hundred men ready to fire. Boney on the other hand stuck to his columns - wha tthat meant was that at any point oftime only the front line could fire - so say 4 or 5.
What is amusing is that he stuck to the same strategy over and over and over and.....even though he kept on losing and losing and losing and...]
We proceed a few decaded...Napolean 3 is in the throne. Bismark of Prussia said "boo!".
Napolean 3 not only surrendered the army but also surrender Alsace, Lorainne, dignity etc etc.
Just to keep in practice, he surrendered a few years later to the Italians as well.
We all know what happened in WW1 and 2.
But hey surrendering to the Germans ain't that humiliating is it.
What is humiliating is surrendering to a bunch of peasants...as the monkeys did in 1954 in Vietnam.
From then on, the monkeys has kept a strict policy of surrendering whenever and wherever they got he chance.....(prime example French Football Team)
And one of France's most famous son is now upholding the traditions of blindness and sheer imbecilic foolishness by....well....by completely destroying a certain football club and surrendering its dignity and history as well as any chance of ever actually winning anything towards his insatiable lust for young boys......hell Catholic priests are nothing in comparison to His Myopicness when it comes to lust for young boys - the younger the better.
{Hell Interpol even has a questionnaire for freshers in the force. One of the questions goes like this
Of the following, who is a pedophile?
A. Arsene Wenger
B. Arsene Wenger
C. Arsene Wenger
D. All of the Above}
It all started with Vercingetorix first declaring war on ole Julius, then quite delightfully mucking up his tactics and millitary strategies (becoming a jelly in Julius's doughnut shaped fortifications), then feeding his own soldiers to the metaphorical cannons and then....well...surrendering
He wasn't the last...oh no, not by a long way
Fast forward a few hundred years and we have the monkeys fighting the Lions
and what happens?
Yes that's right they lose and lose and lose (Crecy (1346) and Agincourt (1415) famous examples) and surrender and surrender and surrender
and when they finally get a commander (Joan of Arc) who can beat the bloody Englishmen, what do they do?
They burn her
Once again fast forward
We arrive at the 18th century
We see the monkeys fighting along with that other great martial powers Austria (who has never ever won a war) and Spain (the only war they ever won was the civil war...but they lost that as well) against those tiny insignificant warrior nations of Britain and Prussia.
Guess what happened....go on guess guess
Thats right
The real fun was about to start though
The 19th and 20th centuries were the zenith of the ancient and noble simian tradition of surrendering.
It started with Napolean getting an arse kicking of epic proportions in Egypt and the talantic by Nelson. He decided to evolve and fight on land. After being chased all around the continent by Arthur Wellesley...guess what Napolean did??
Yep
He was put in an island where he got bored after a few years. So what did he do. He walked into Paris and the whole nation surrendered to him. He then assembled a huge massive army and started marching to Belgium.
Upon reaching Belgium, more specifically a place called Waterloo, he decided to go back to Paris. Upon reaching Paris, he carried on the simian tradition and ..well....surrendered.
[Aside - the man was an eejit. Why you ask?
1. The British army employed riflemen - the Greenjackets. The rifle had a much bigger range as well as accuracy and was deaedly as a sniper weapon. So what did Napolean do? He said oo la la and stuck to muskets.
2. The British used the line formation while fighting. What it meant was at any point of time there were say a hundred men ready to fire. Boney on the other hand stuck to his columns - wha tthat meant was that at any point oftime only the front line could fire - so say 4 or 5.
What is amusing is that he stuck to the same strategy over and over and over and.....even though he kept on losing and losing and losing and...]
We proceed a few decaded...Napolean 3 is in the throne. Bismark of Prussia said "boo!".
Napolean 3 not only surrendered the army but also surrender Alsace, Lorainne, dignity etc etc.
Just to keep in practice, he surrendered a few years later to the Italians as well.
We all know what happened in WW1 and 2.
But hey surrendering to the Germans ain't that humiliating is it.
What is humiliating is surrendering to a bunch of peasants...as the monkeys did in 1954 in Vietnam.
From then on, the monkeys has kept a strict policy of surrendering whenever and wherever they got he chance.....(prime example French Football Team)
And one of France's most famous son is now upholding the traditions of blindness and sheer imbecilic foolishness by....well....by completely destroying a certain football club and surrendering its dignity and history as well as any chance of ever actually winning anything towards his insatiable lust for young boys......hell Catholic priests are nothing in comparison to His Myopicness when it comes to lust for young boys - the younger the better.
{Hell Interpol even has a questionnaire for freshers in the force. One of the questions goes like this
Of the following, who is a pedophile?
A. Arsene Wenger
B. Arsene Wenger
C. Arsene Wenger
D. All of the Above}
And before we forget about the French army, here's what they have been upto
Friday, October 1, 2010
World's Most Famous and Memorable Scotsmen
Yep this post is about those whiskey drinking, kilt wearing, bagpipe playing, golf inventing, haggis eating, claymore weaving bunch of nutters.
The world is fascinated by the Scots (they get progressively more fascinating after the world has had a few pegs of Scotch).
And so, after lots of research (abt 10 mins of Wiki), Cheapo decided to make a list of the most famous Scotsmen
10. James Watts - developed the steam engine...thereby starting a chain of events which has resulted in the depletion of the ozone layer and which has ensured that Paris Hilton will be caught in every country i nthe world with cocaine in her purse
9. David Hume - dabbled in philosophy and stuff...apparently said "Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions".......possibly a wanker
8. Adam Smith - economics, money.. wuhooo
7. Sir Alexander Graham Bell - the dude invented the telephone without which our modern generation muppets would have been destitutes
6. Sir Alexander Fleming - penicillin.....without which women's headaches would hav been uncurable and men would have had to commit suicide
5. Sir Alex Ferguson - the sun shines out of the Glasgow Beetroot's purple tonker...definitely a wanker.....also allegations abound that he was anally bummed by Satan himself and their bastard lovechild is Gary fucking Neville (forever changing the meaning of the words Holy Crap)
4. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - elementary my dear clackalackadackdacks
3. Sir William Wallace (made famous by Mel Gibson)- from all historical accounts a loser and a bit of a wanker...tell that to a Scotsman and if you can live after 5 minutes, go buy a lottery ticket...u will be a billionaire
.
2. Sir Sean Connery - well you know, no explanations necessary
1. Dr. William MacDougal - the most famous Scotsman in history....the most recognizable Scotsman in history (according to Times)....and the man who coined the phrase "Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys"
what? u didn't get it? shame on ye!!!!
what image comes to mind when u think of an angry Scotsman?
that's right
the man who said “Brothers and sisters are natural-born enemies, like Englishmen and Scots! And Welshmen and Scots! And Japanese and Scots! And Scots and other Scots! Lousy Scots! They ruin Scotland.”
Its Willie the Groundsman from Simpsons
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/scotland/article581035.ece
other notable Scotsmen include
Andrew Carnegie (1835–1919), steel magnate, major philanthropist
Barrie - Sir J M (1860-1937) - Author of "Peter Pan" and "The Admirable Crichton".
Burns - Robert (1759-1796) - Scotland's most celebrated poet.
Carlyle - Thomas (1795-1881) - An influential philosopher and historian of the Victorian age.
McAdam - John Loudon (1756-1836) - Improved a tar-based road surface which became known as "tarmac".
Macbeth - King (1005- 1057) - Shakespeare based his tragedy on selected facts about this Scottish king.
MacGregor - Rob Roy (1671-1734) - The larger than life Highland Rogue.
Macintosh - Charles (1766-1843) - His invention of waterproof clothing added his name to the English dictionary.
Maclean - Alistair (1922-1987) - Author of books such as "HMS Ulysses" and "The Guns of Navaronne".
Scott - Sir Walter (1771-1832) - Author of novels such as "Ivanhoe" who also "invented" modern tartans.
Smollet - Tobias George (1721- 1771) - Regarded as a founder of the modern novel.
Stevenson - Robert Louis (1850-1894) - Author of such classics as "Treasure Island" and "Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde".
James Young Simpson (1811–1870), introduced chloroform into surgery
Kenny Dalglish (born 1951), retired footballer and manager of Liverpool F.C.
etc etc etc
The world is fascinated by the Scots (they get progressively more fascinating after the world has had a few pegs of Scotch).
And so, after lots of research (abt 10 mins of Wiki), Cheapo decided to make a list of the most famous Scotsmen
10. James Watts - developed the steam engine...thereby starting a chain of events which has resulted in the depletion of the ozone layer and which has ensured that Paris Hilton will be caught in every country i nthe world with cocaine in her purse
9. David Hume - dabbled in philosophy and stuff...apparently said "Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions".......possibly a wanker
8. Adam Smith - economics, money.. wuhooo
7. Sir Alexander Graham Bell - the dude invented the telephone without which our modern generation muppets would have been destitutes
6. Sir Alexander Fleming - penicillin.....without which women's headaches would hav been uncurable and men would have had to commit suicide
5. Sir Alex Ferguson - the sun shines out of the Glasgow Beetroot's purple tonker...definitely a wanker.....also allegations abound that he was anally bummed by Satan himself and their bastard lovechild is Gary fucking Neville (forever changing the meaning of the words Holy Crap)
4. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - elementary my dear clackalackadackdacks
3. Sir William Wallace (made famous by Mel Gibson)- from all historical accounts a loser and a bit of a wanker...tell that to a Scotsman and if you can live after 5 minutes, go buy a lottery ticket...u will be a billionaire
.
2. Sir Sean Connery - well you know, no explanations necessary
1. Dr. William MacDougal - the most famous Scotsman in history....the most recognizable Scotsman in history (according to Times)....and the man who coined the phrase "Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys"
what? u didn't get it? shame on ye!!!!
what image comes to mind when u think of an angry Scotsman?
that's right
the man who said “Brothers and sisters are natural-born enemies, like Englishmen and Scots! And Welshmen and Scots! And Japanese and Scots! And Scots and other Scots! Lousy Scots! They ruin Scotland.”
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/scotland/article581035.ece
other notable Scotsmen include
Andrew Carnegie (1835–1919), steel magnate, major philanthropist
Barrie - Sir J M (1860-1937) - Author of "Peter Pan" and "The Admirable Crichton".
Burns - Robert (1759-1796) - Scotland's most celebrated poet.
Carlyle - Thomas (1795-1881) - An influential philosopher and historian of the Victorian age.
McAdam - John Loudon (1756-1836) - Improved a tar-based road surface which became known as "tarmac".
Macbeth - King (1005- 1057) - Shakespeare based his tragedy on selected facts about this Scottish king.
MacGregor - Rob Roy (1671-1734) - The larger than life Highland Rogue.
Macintosh - Charles (1766-1843) - His invention of waterproof clothing added his name to the English dictionary.
Maclean - Alistair (1922-1987) - Author of books such as "HMS Ulysses" and "The Guns of Navaronne".
Scott - Sir Walter (1771-1832) - Author of novels such as "Ivanhoe" who also "invented" modern tartans.
Smollet - Tobias George (1721- 1771) - Regarded as a founder of the modern novel.
Stevenson - Robert Louis (1850-1894) - Author of such classics as "Treasure Island" and "Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde".
James Young Simpson (1811–1870), introduced chloroform into surgery
Kenny Dalglish (born 1951), retired footballer and manager of Liverpool F.C.
etc etc etc
Victim
Well, thats it....after hundreds of years and well millions of muppet hours, the verdict is out..........and nobody is happy.
Well, except Cheapo, who got a half day cause of it.
There is peace all around, despite the total efforts of the nihilists - the Indian press and Ayushman of the Bossturds, who is a fucking idiot and a stupid cunt.
Some people are happy, some are sad while some others are completely indifferent.
No one is hurt yet..........well no one except Baldrick.
Yep, ladies, gentlemen, hermaphrodites and clackalackadackdacks, Baldrick became the 1st victim of the Ayodha verdict.
How yo ask?
Well his pants fell off.
Yes people, he had to travel the length and breadth of Hyderabad all muy naked.
Sources claim that all the other multiple wheelers and clackalackadackdacks laughed at him and made fun of him.
He is mortified.
Well, except Cheapo, who got a half day cause of it.
There is peace all around, despite the total efforts of the nihilists - the Indian press and Ayushman of the Bossturds, who is a fucking idiot and a stupid cunt.
Some people are happy, some are sad while some others are completely indifferent.
No one is hurt yet..........well no one except Baldrick.
Yep, ladies, gentlemen, hermaphrodites and clackalackadackdacks, Baldrick became the 1st victim of the Ayodha verdict.
How yo ask?
Well his pants fell off.
Yes people, he had to travel the length and breadth of Hyderabad all muy naked.
Sources claim that all the other multiple wheelers and clackalackadackdacks laughed at him and made fun of him.
He is mortified.
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