The World is full of Mean People

Ye lot have to use yer powers of imagination for this one.

Imagine a bunch of upper class rich la-di-dah snobbish people sitting in a glass room and eating all kinds of expensive food like caviar and vintage wine and stuff. Now imagine them just taking some nibbles and then throwing the food away while uttering stuff like "Oh I say, that stuff is a little undercoocked" "Oh how awful it needs a bit of salt" etc etc.

Now imagine that glass room in a camp for the destitute refugees in a place like Rwanda or Somalia or something. You can see the hundreds of starving children standing behind a brbed wire barricde and staring at the glass room. What do you think those children will be feeling?


Thats exactly the feeling I had (well not exactly, I have been extremely lucky in my parents and country and so don't have to suffer like those poor wee souls) when certain people started talking about something which I will never get.


Suffice to say it was horrible.

Breaking News: Mysterious Alement Ales PBPS

A spokesman for the world's favourite and most famous BP producer PBPS has recently revealed to our special correspondent Fat Uncle Cheapo that she has been afflicted with a mysterious alement in her external posterior region.

Rumour has it that she has gone over to the capitalist region to consult posterior occult doctors n all to get initiated in some sort of covenant.

Despite repeated attempts by our correspondent, she could not be traced.

Breaking News: "I am tired of using my own hands" declares PBPS

In an exclusive tearful interview with our special correspondent Fat Uncle Chapo, PBPS announced that she is sick and tired of doing it with her hands all the time.

She further added that she is becoming desperate and that she would love some new hands to do stuff with....and thst she is not a singleist, it doesn't matter to her if the hands belong to different persons.

Breaking News: Lady Fallsalot caught singing lomantic songs to MP

In an exclusive scoop, our correspondent Fat Uncle Cheapo has found that Lady Fallsalot bursts into Hindi filmy lomantic songs whenever she catches sight of the filmy goru of EFLU - MP.

A close friend of Lady Fallsalot told the correspondent of an incident where while in a friend's room, she espied MP walking on the road, and immediately went all lomantic tragic heroine and went to the window and started singing while holding the grille.


It has been suggested that all these weird actions stem from her unfulfilled head-over-elbow crush of MP. It is the theory of this paper that it is more than just crush, it is indeed luw.




Since MP has refused to answer the phone, this paper cannot tell you if the feelings are reciprocated.

Breaking News: "I have all the cocks I want" declares PBPS

In a hastily called for press conference last night, PBPS declared that she has all the cocks that she can possibly want. She also added that recent rumours suggesting an absence of coks in her life are completely baseless and only spread by malicious gossipmongers. She reassured all her fans that there is indeed no shortage of cocks in her life.









Note: She was talking aboot shuttlecocks (the ones ye use to play badminton) ye durty minded poivots.